I Shall Not Follow
by Neon Star
Summary: Elrond is leaving Middle Earth, but Glorfindel isn't coming with him. Glorfindel's POV
1. Default Chapter

Glorfindel, Rivendell, and Elrond do not belong to me. They belong to Tolkien, but you should know that. ;) This is not slash. I hope you enjoy it!  
  
I Shall Not Follow  
  
I smile sadly out at the place I have called home for several years. Rivendell, a majestic place, full of beauty and hope. But soon all of it would be gone, for even now it is fading away. When the one ring was destroyed, the powers of the three were rendered powerless. The age of elves has ended, and thus many are moving on to the Undying Lands, and my Lord and friend is going to be among them. But the choice stands before me now. Leave for the Undying Lands, or stay here? All ready I can hear the call of the sea, and it's pulling at my mind. But the land holds my heart and I do not wish to leave it. What should I do? I have not the mind to stay nor the heart to leave. The dilemma is upon me and there is no cure for it.   
  
Elrond will come and ask me soon what I will do. He will not wait forever to see if I follow him across the sea or not. I used to want to be there for him, but now, I do not feel it is my place. My friend and comrade. The one that cared for me when I was younger, and the one to discover who I once was even before I did. I swore I would not abandon his side, but now I fear I may break that promise. Oh, Elrond, would you forgive me? Your heart sorrows that your daughter shall not come with us, and that your sons will remain here a time, and now I only add to your burden. How could I, the one that you had once called your truest friend, abandon your side?  
  
But it is not my place, I can't explain it, but I cannot journey across the sea now. Maybe, maybe later, maybe never, I don't truly know. I haven't been this unsure since I left the halls of waiting. I was sent here to aid you then, Elrond, but now, I feel that I am done with that, and must move on.  
  
I look out into the moon lit night and know what I must do. I cannot face Elrond with this, so it is best if we part before he leaves, before he comes asking me to go with him.  
  
I turn away from the light and head for my desk. My hand closes around the quill, and then the quill touches the paper. I recognize my handwriting, but those do not seem to be my words. They seem so cold and indifferent. But I must do what I must do.  
  
I suddenly hear the door opening. I turn around to find myself faced with Elrond.   
  
" I felt that you were troubled and had wish to speak to me," he says, and then his eyes trail down to the paper on my desk.  
  
*Curse the horrid bond that had been placed between us! It may have been helpful between us once, but not now!* I curse in my mind.  
  
"You were planning to leave without informing anyone?" Elrond asks.  
  
"Yes," I say.  
  
"Why?" he asks calmly.  
  
"Because uncertain are my paths. I only know that my place is not in the Undying Lands, but among my world. I don't know if I shall ever follow you there, and I regret to leave you, but my heart leads me down another path and I must follow," I sigh.  
  
Elrond stands silent for several minutes, and I grow to fear what he might say.  
  
"I had felt it would be this way. But I did not think it would happen so soon. You have been by my side for many lifetimes, old friend, and I do not wish to part from you. But you must do what you must," he says.  
  
I nod, unsure of what to say.  
  
"But are you sure you will not come?" Elrond finally asks.  
  
"I am sure. Be it that my heart grieves with parting, old friend. I feel I have no choice," I say.  
  
"You always have a choice, Glorfindel. But you must do what your heart tells you, for it has never led you wrong, has it," Elrond says.  
  
"No, it has not," I say.  
  
"Then you know what you must do. Must you leave this night as you planned?" he asks.  
  
"No, I just feared what you would say when I told you my decision," I say; now knowing that it was a foolish though.  
  
Elrond lay a gentle hand upon my shoulder, "Never be afraid of me, dear friend. I would not rebuke you for the path you chose. I only hope you are happy upon it," he says softly.  
  
"I know that now, and I know it was a foolish thought. I did not wish to add to your burden. I know I shall never be happy upon the road I am choosing. For I shall watch my world fade and another take its place, and I shall grieve. But I cannot leave it," I say.  
  
"Do not worry about my burden. But promise me one thing, promise me when you are weary of this world that you shall not just lie down and die in grief. Sail to the Undying Lands, and be finally healed of the griefs you bear, and so we shall be reunited," he says.  
  
"I shall, for dying is not a pleasant thing," I say, and a small smile comes to my lips.  
  
"Only you know that," he chuckles slightly.  
  
Then silence came over us, and for a few moments, we could say nothing. Finally I sigh again and look away.  
  
"I shall miss you," I say.  
  
"And so shall I. But we should not say goodbye yet, for we have a few days yet. Let us make the best of them," he says.  
  
"Thank you," I say, looking back up at him.  
  
"Always," he says quietly and takes his hand from my shoulder.  
  
He then leaves as soundlessly as he came, and I am left alone with my thoughts. 


	2. 2

I turn back to the moon lit Rivendell. All to be lost and to disappear. It weighs heavily in my heart, but my burden is a little lighter. I wonder how long I shall remain on Middle Earth before I pass on to the Undying Lands. I do not know, it may be another age yet or so. Maybe I will leave before all is lost and my heart would not be sundered for it. But I fear I will not. Only time may tell, and I hope it will not turn against me.  
  
I do not know how long I stand here, but before I know it, the sun is rising, and a count down begins in my mind. Two days till Elrond leaves, two days for me to change my mind. But I know I will not, for my heart won't allow it.  
  
A soft knock comes to my ears, and I turn to find Elladan and Elrohir standing at my door.   
  
"We heard that you are planning on staying," Elladan comments.  
  
"I am," I say.  
  
Elrohir lay a hand upon my shoulder, "I for one am glad. You've been like a second Father to us, Glorfindel, and I have a feeling we are still going to need your guidance."  
  
I smile slightly, "And you two have always felt like the sons I have never had. I shall give you the help you need for as long as you need me."  
  
"That is good, so you will join us when we leave, after Father does?" Elladan asks.  
  
I look at one then the other. There will be nothing left for me in Rivendell after Elrond leaves. My dept will be done, as Elrond will no longer be here for me to protect. So why not? Besides, between these two and their ways, they are going to need help keeping out of trouble.  
  
My smile grows a little bit at the thought, "I shall."   
  
"Excellent! We are glad you are going with us, Glor," Elladan said, his smile edging larger as well.  
  
They then leave my rooms, and I am alone for a time. I had better get dressed, so I can start this day.  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
I meet Elrond in his halls. He is going over some last minute details, before he leaves. He looks up to me, and smiles slightly.  
  
"Elladan told me you would be going with them after I leave," he comments.  
  
"I am. I feel that I may as well continue to keep my vows," I say.  
  
"Your dept has been paid in full many times over, Glorfindel, I do not wish you to feel obligated," he says.  
  
"I do not. Elladan and Elrohir are like sons to me. I feel I need to be around, I guess. You remember that one incident in Mirkwood..." I say, trailing off.  
  
"Do I ever, we didn't leave those two alone for a long while! And poor Legolas, the little one was nearly in shock!" Elrond laughs slightly.  
  
"Then of course there was the real spider incident. I must be over protective, that is all," I say, and shudder slightly at the memory.  
  
"Yes, I remember that. We barely saved them then. I am glad you are going with them, and that you are protective of them. I hate to leave them, Glorfindel, but at least I shall know that I leave them in secure hands," he says softly.  
  
"And I am glad you trust me so well," I say.  
  
"I have always trusted you, ever since we met. You have protected my family for a long time, and you have been a dear friend to me. My wife loved to baby you ever since she met you, do you remember that?" he asks.  
  
"Of course I do! Bless her; she wouldn't leave me alone if I had a little nick on my shoulder. I am sure you will be happy to see her again," I say softly after laughing slightly at the memories.  
  
"I will be. I have missed her greatly," he sighs.  
  
"I know, but you shall be with her soon. You will give her my love when you get there?" I ask.  
  
"I will and we shall be waiting when you come," he says, laying a hand on my shoulder.  
  
"I shall look forward to that day, Elrond," I say softly. 


	3. 3

Canuck: Glad you noticed that. Its going to be coming into play in the sequel, Footsteps. Thank you so very much for the kind review as well! And he is, isn't he. :D  
  
This is the last part. The sequel should be up soon enough. Thanks, and please review! :)  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
Today is the day. I shall have to say goodbye to all that I have come accustomed to. But that does not trouble me. No, it is that I shall be saying goodbye to my truest friend. And I do not look forward to it. The only thought that comforts me is that he will finally heal, and be with the one he truly loves. I am happy for that, the years lay heavily upon him. He sometimes looks older then even I and that worries me greatly. But he shall go on now, and leave this world behind.  
  
I wish I could go on with him, but I feel that my task is not done. Not yet, anyways. The years do not lie so heavily upon me yet, though I have been here since near the beginning, I have always had a secret pain within my heart, that I feel is from when I returned to Mandos. It is a pain that cannot be healed, not even by the Lady Galadriel.   
  
But enough thinking about myself. I should be worried about Elrond and happy for him. He has been my greatest and loyal friend, and I want what is best for him. My own healing and happiness can wait.  
  
I had best get down there, as Elrond wishes to reach the Gray Havens as soon as possible, mostly for the sake of their passenger, Bilbo Baggins. But also for the sake of young Frodo, who we have heard from Samwise is becoming more distant and frail in his health.   
  
My few things are packed, and ready in my saddlebags. Asfaloth is down below, waiting to be saddled, and ridden from this place. I am dressed and ready, my saddlebags on my shoulder. What could I wait for? Do I truly believe I can hold of his leaving for longer?   
  
He's suffering, and I am only prolonging it with every moment I waste standing here. Come on, Glorfindel, you shall see him again. Have faith and let the stars guide your heart. As Elrond has said, your heart has never been wrong. But if that is so, why do I feel that it is wrong now?  
  
I walk to my door, and glance briefly around my room. A small pang from my heart, for I shall not see this or any other part of sweet Rivendell again. I shall miss it all, especially the Halls of Fire, where wondrous tales and song were sung long into the night. But I cannot regret it now, for if I do, I shall never leave.  
  
I walk out, and shut the door behind me. No use locking it, for it is empty of anything that matters to me. My footsteps feel heavy, weighed down by my sorrow as I walk down the stairs. The closer I get to where Elrond waits, the more my heart dreads. But I can do nothing for it now.  
  
Finally I stand upon earth, and look across the small clearing to where Elrond waits. He hugs his sons, and speaks tenderly to them. I can see even from here in his eyes that he hopes to see his sons again, that they will join him later. But it is their choice, and he cannot chose for them. He hates that, for he fears that they will stay like their sister has chosen to, and it wounds his heart greatly. But he shall not confess that to them, as he has to me.  
  
They stand aside, and his eyes catch mine. Pain echoes in my heart, and for a moment, I cannot tell who's it is, his or mine. But it doesn't matter; for I feel that we both are pained by this. I walk forward, as does he, and we meet in the middle of the clearing.  
  
"This is it," I say softly.  
  
"So it is," he says,   
  
A silence falls over us. It isn't awkward, but the kind of silence that happens when one is contemplating things. Suddenly he reaches out, and grasps me in an embrace. I return it, and beg myself to change my mind. But my heart refuses.  
  
"You have followed me all these years, Glorfindel, and though your dept has been well paid in full, I formally release thee from it," Elrond says softly in my ear.  
  
A soft smile brushes my lips, and a small burden lifts from my heart. The dept was of no true matter, but having been released of it by him who it was owed to is true release from it.  
  
"Thank you, my lord, and forever my dearest of friends and truest of companions," I whispered in return, and tighten my embrace for a moment.  
  
Then we part, and gaze at each other, both unwilling to let go of ages worth of friendship.   
  
"It shall not be so long that we have to hold on to what time we have," I say, breaking the silence that has fallen again.  
  
"No, it shall not be. Come swiftly when your heart permits it," he says.  
  
"I shall. Even if the way was bared, I will find a way," I promise to him.  
  
He smiles sadly, "Far thee well, then, Glorfindel of Gondolin of the House of the Golden Flower and of Imladris, and always my truest and loyal friend and companion."  
  
"Far thee well, Elrond," I whisper then suggest a bit stronger, "Perhaps I should follow thee out of Rivendell?"   
  
"No, it is best that we should say our goodbyes here, as you may be tempted to leave with me," he said.  
  
I smile sadly, "You've always been wise beyond your years, Elrond."   
  
"I had a good teacher," he says, and briefly smiles again.  
  
One last look, and then he turns away. I watch him as he goes to his horse and mounts. He raises his hand in one last farewell, and then rides off. I watch him until he and his company disappears from my sight, then turn to see Elrohir and Elladan waiting for me. I nod to them in greeting, and smile fleetingly. They return my silent greeting, and we walk to where our horses stand tied. Quickly we saddle them, and prepare to depart. Once done, we mount and ride off in the opposite direction of where Elrond had gone. We ride swiftly on until I slow, and stop. I know it is foolish to look back, as it would only cause me more pain, but I feel I must.  
  
I turn and my heart trembles as I look once more upon mighty Rivendell. Then I turn and settle my gaze upon the road ahead, and my companions waiting for me.  
  
"Ride on, Asfaloth, ride on." 


End file.
